Monday, December 5, 2016

Starting from Scratch, the struggle is real

So here I am again, starting from scratch. As evidenced in this blog, I have tried a countless amount of times to try and get back on track and lose weight, but when something bad happens, I seem to always fuck all and give up. I need to overcome this silly attitude of giving up.

I started running and lost 11 kg, and then he broke my heart and I gave up and ate my feelings away and gained everything back.

I tried the Atkins diet and lost again about 13 kg, but then I found out that it was actually killing me, my blood pressure and cholesterol levels shot up like crazy so I gave up, and ate normally and gained everything back.

I even was ready to go for gastric bypass surgery but that blew up due to my sleep apnea which was cause by my obesity. And I gave up again and just ate and ate again.

So here I am again, trying once again. I cannot give up this time, because I cannot disappoint the one person who means a lot to me and wants me to lose weight. I need to do this, I need to do this for him. BUT not only for him, for ME as well, I need to be healthy again. I need to be able to sit in an airplane seat and not struggle to put on the seat belt. I need to be able to sit comfortable in a Cinema seat and not have to always opt for the bigger sharing seats.

I am sick of being a round ball of fat.

I decided to start blogging again because it is the only way for me to document my struggles and also a good way to keep me motivated to keep on going, I need an outlet. I have to lose weight.

So what is my action plan for now :

1. Eat healthy
2. Exercise


I want to be healthy again, I want to be able to walk up steps and not feel tired, I want to be able to do things like rock climb. I need to look good for my 30th birthday. I have to keep going. Its going to be tough and I will be miserable. But it is time already, I cant keep prolonging this process.

My current goal is to drop to 100 kg. I am gonna stay focused and work towards that.

I have to. For me. and for him.

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