Not Giving Up! Not Backing Down!

Yesterday, I went for one of my first participation's in a longer distance run. 6.4km Be a Runner Be A Giver. (Previously, the Jog for Hope was 3km)

And since I am purely honest in this blog, I would say I was quite disappointed and upset in myself, and I felt the worst I have ever felt after a run. I felt a kind of down, I haven't felt in a long time that I went home and cried.

Trying to push myself made the sharp pain in my foot come back, and it came back full blast, the pain was excruciating. And being yelled at to run and not walk when you have an excruciating pain in your foot, not the best experience.  Further more, taking part in it made me realize I am so far behind, and I've got such a long way to go. My friends are way up there, and I felt I will never be able to get there. It probably got to me more because I was doing it alone. It upset me quite a bit, and I felt extremely demotivated yesterday, and wanted to give up on participating in these events, till I am actually ready. I wanted to scratch the 7km PJ Marathon and the 5km Putrajaya Night Run.Because yesterday, I just felt like I really can't do it. Emotional and mental pain.

BUT, after I spoke to a few friends and I did some proper thinking, and watched the Shay Carl video again. I changed my mind and I have decided to not give up.

If I think I can't I never will be able to. The power of the mind.

So,I changed my perception and decided to suck it up. Yesterday I did 6.4km, even though it be slow, the fact is , I did it. I got up in the morning and did it. I lapped everyone who was in bed that morning. It IS something.

And I should be happy that I have actually gotten that far. I  have to remind myself, Small Steps. I mean, that is the title of my blog.

There is no fast road to achieving my ultimate goal. I just have to suck it up and keep going.

So I am doing the PJ and the Putrajaya, even though I suck! I will do it, I will keep going, to the extent my foot allows me to.

I should be happy and proud that I got up and did it, because I can. When I first started this, doing 4kms. I thought that was my limit. Now,my daily workouts are 6.5kms. Slow progress, but its progress non the less.

So, I had a bad day. It has to not stop me. It should never stop you. Yes, I had some irrational thinking. But now with my head clearer, I will not let it pull me down.

I will have one big challenge to overcome, which is the pain in my foot, but I will do something about it, and it should not stop me. And I will keep going.

Some pictures from yesterday. My favourite colour as well.

Thank you Wils, for making me do this. And Thank you Hanna for telling me to not let it discourage me. And thank you Hariz and Sam for making me feel better. :)

Small distance it is. But , I did it. And I will keep on trying. 

P.S, as of today, I've lost 13 KG! =)

New Personal Best!

Yesterday, I beat my personal best!! Yay!!

A 1m: 52s improvement from the last!! Small Steps! Everything can be done in small steps!

I owe a part of this improvement to Dr.Blake. I found his site while surfing around for advice on my foot condition (Accessory Navicular Syndrome, flat feet, collapsing arches etc.) and decided to write him in, and he replied with some advice which helped me tremendously during my workout yesterday. If you are having any foot or ankle problems, do go check out his sight because he addresses quite a number of conditions and gives recommendations. 

I did not feel the pain I usually feel when I run. 

So,the things he recommended and I attempted :

1.To heat up my insoles which are "Sole" brand for a more custom fit of my foot (though I knew these could be heated up, I didn't do this when I got them, cause it said you could either heat it up, or just wear them straight away and they would eventually form). 

These insoles provide me with the arch support I need, and I find these are the best insoles around so far, as I have tried many different types. I got them from Running Lab in Tropicana City Mall, the ones I got below costed RM169. These insoles have reduced the pain I feel in my foot by a huge margin. 

These are the pair which I got, they are called Softec Response Heat-Moldable Orthotic Arch Support Insoles which are for people who have plantar fasciitis ( a condition common for people with flat feet or low arches) or for people who need extra support.

2.As I was worried about the heel blisters I was getting which was getting to be quite painful ( a common thing to occur when you change your insole from the original one for support because it is thicker).He recommended to use BodyGlide on my heels, however I am not too sure where to find it here so I looked online for alternatives, and most of the results said to try Vaseline, which I tried and it work.

Of course in addition to this, I also bought anti-blistering socks. Which I picked up from Athlete's Circle in Jaya One. I believe they were call Wright Socks, as below. A pair of these are about RM50.

Double layered socks to prevent blistering.

3. He recommended taping my foot with either Kinesiotape or Rocktape, to provide arch support. I do not know where to find kinesiotape, but Rocktape can also be found at Athlete's Circle and costs about RM60 for a roll, which can last pretty long. There are a variety of patterns and colours, which I find quite cool as below :

But the shop didn't have the purple colour one, which I really wanted, so I decided to go with Black.If anyone sees purple RockTape out there, please do let me know where I can find it in Malaysia. 

Now, I am not too sure how this RockTape actually works, but it has something to do with the lifting of skin away from the soft tissue and it is supposed to accelerate blood flow, reduce swelling, strengthen muscles and other things. You can read more about it here. Once you apply this tape on your foot, you can leave it on for 5 days, if it doesn't come off before that. This kinesio type tape can be used for a number of purposes eg. Shin Splints, Knee pains, Thighs etc.

Anyway I followed Dr.Blake's method for taping for Arch Support as below :

There are many other ways to tape for arch support which I have watched on YouTube. I will slowly try these and see which one fits the best. 

But the taping really helped me a lot yesterday. My pain was almost to a point where it was non-existent during my run, and I didn't get the burning sharp pain I usually get after running. This I guess added together with the more comfortable fit of my insoles helped. 

So there, these three things helped me push myself yesterday, and it worked. Now, that I have sort of sorted out the issue of the pain in my foot, he has told me to try to find an every other day running distance that does not seem to push it too far and cause pain. And to stay at that distance for 10 runs and if all works out increase by 10% the next 10 runs, and so on. This I will definitely do. I find it so awesome that there are such helpful people out there, his advice helped me instantly boost my personal best time. 

Oh he also recommended to get either the Brooks Ariel, Brooks Addiction or Brooks Adrenaline shoes, which I checked out online are shoes that have really really good support, which is something I definitely need, however these do come at quite a high price and I am not even sure they have them here, the Ariel one seems like the one I need. Those shoes would be an investment. But anyway,  I shall make do with what I have now, and see how it goes. 

When you have a problem, find the source of it, and fix it. You won't regret going through the trouble or going that extra mile. 

The absence of the excruciating pain during my work out has really motivated me to keep going and keeping pushing myself. I admit the fasting month, did bring me down because I could not do the workouts as often. But now it is ending, and it is time to get back on track!

I feel motivated to give it my all again. Beating my personal best makes me want to beat it again, but slowly of course. Small steps! I will not give up on this, I will keep going. Today, I could fit into a skirt which I have been trying to fit into ever since I started working out. I have been trying it on constantly, and have never been able to close that buckle. 

Today, I could close that buckle and wear it to work.

Small steps.

7.2km =)

Last night I did the furthest I have ever done so far which is 7.2km!! and I felt quite ok doing it. I also was within my 5km under an hour timing as well, so all in all yesterday was a good day. Yay!

The ankle pain was of course inevitably there, I really should take it easy on my feet. But it just feels so good working out.

Puasa (Fasting Month) has started. =(

And I feel like it is  messing up everything! I can't do my morning runs any more and being dehydrated throughout the day is a pain. Even when break fast time comes, I try not to eat so much because I want to do my workout after. So all in all, my daily intake has quite drastically reduced. Also I don't actually wake up in the morning for Sahur, because I don't want to get up eat and go back to sleep.

I guess it could be a good thing, that daily intake has reduced, hopefully I will lose weight faster. But I can't help but think that this is not the proper healthy way to lose weight.

Sigh. I know I should not complain. But I really view this fasting thing as something extremely unhealthy, where people gorge themselves in the early morning to last throughout the day, and then gorge themselves again at night because of the hunger throughout the day.

How on earth is that healthy? And not to mention the sleep in between, falling back to sleep after sahur?.

AND to top it all off, the end of fasting month is celebrated with one month of Raya (another occasion where people continuously gorge themselves with calorie loaded food).

I must remind myself constantly not to succumb to the above and just continue my daily routines somehow. Puasa and Raya are two months huge obstacles I have to overcome and keep going.

Jog for Hope 2012

So on Sunday 15 July 2012, I did my very first Fun run of 3km- Jog for Hope.

It was a good first run. I couldn't actually really run much which upset me a bit due to my inflamed ankle which was giving me issues, but I am just glad I completed it, my very first fun run. small steps!  =)

7.30am before the start, drops of drizzle falling on our heads.

Me, Feez and Bren before the start. 

Approaching the u-turn for the 3km, when I was here I was walking, the pain in my ankle was a bit too much and I pushed myself too much running up the initial hill. 

 My motivator and sunshine doing his 10km coming in at 6th place! Congrats Wils!

Complete random storm trooper walking about after the run. lol.

Me and Wils. Hopefully one day I would be able to do a 10km with him (of course not at his speed tho, he is too fast)

Sunnies from my Sunshine!!

After the run, Wils gave me this, for the completion of my first run. Its something I have been needing for quite a while, a good pair of sunnies. It was very sweet of him to do so. =) 

It was a good day! And I cant wait to join more. The next one I have already signed up for is the Putrajaya Night Fun Run of 5km. I gotta step up on the training, and hopefully my accessory bone will not give me problems. Arches Arches! I must wear my Arches!

Speaking of which check out my new Birkenstocks! The Doc told me Birkenstocks are the best for Arch Support, and I should try and wear them as often as possible for my condition, so I decided to make an investment and get a pair.

Purple ones of course! These were the prettiest purple ones of them all, and the arch support is awesome.

I have never really been a fan of them, as they aren't the best looking kind of sandals. But I have discovered when I do wear them, my foot feels so much better. It's like a constant massage on the pain I feel at the area surrounding my accessory bone. 

Today I did my workout. I was supposed to rest a few more days but I was tired of sitting still and resting my feet.I love swimming, but when swimming you don't sweat and it doesn't feel like much of a workout for me.

The past week, I have been swimming and not doing my usual morning walks/runs. Slowly I felt myself slipping and giving up which I know I cannot let happen.Swimming just doesn't feel the same was walking/running. I feel I get a better workout when I do walking/running compared to swimming, though they like to say you burn more calories with swimming. I am not too sure, but I know my heart is not in it compared to running. I want to be able to run with my friends one day. I want to be able to do a run with sunshine, one day, hopefully, eventually. 

Anyway, so today when my usual morning alarm when off at 6am, I decided to get out of bed and just do it. I was tired of not being able to do my walks. I rested 3 days last week.Even though I promised myself and Wils I would rest today because of my foot, I decided to screw it and just do it, and I am glad I did!

I made sure I wore my arches in my kicks, and I did purely power walking with no running intervals up to the very last round. Only on the 5km lap round, I ran a lil to try and make it under an hour (my July goal) and I did! 5km in 59 minutes and 55 seconds! Yay!  Also, I achieved a personal best at 6km of 1 hour 12 minutes! Yay again! There was minimal pain today, which is also another Yay thing for today. 

Visit to the Doctor

So I have finally visited the doctor, an ankle specialist at KL Sports Medicine Centre which was conveniently located near my office, and I finally know what is wrong with me after so many years of  saying "my ankle is painful".

Verdict : Accessory Navicular Syndrome
Meaning : I have an extra bone in my foot that is holding my Posterior Tibial Tendon, it is quite uncommon and most people do not have it. Unfortunately however, I have been blessed with it.

 Above is what the doc drew out for me. 

The first image shows a normal persons foot. The navicular bone connected to the posterior tibial tendon.

The second image is  my foot. It has an extra tiny bone (the "accessory bone"), and that tiny bone holds my posterior tibial tendon, and connects to the navicular bone. The connection between these two (in red in the picture above) is now inflamed and irritated because I have been pushing myself with the walking and running. Below, the x-ray of my foot. In the circled part you can see the tiny accessory bone.

This has been the reason of my sharp pain! My previous post I circled the exact same spot, and now the x-ray and I finally know the cause!

Anyway, this condition is common with people who have flat feet and fallen arches, both of which I have.

So what is the treatment? Well the doctor told me I have to do a few things :

1. Wear my Arches CONSTANTLY! (something which I have not really been doing at all even though I have them)- I need to get proper arch support shoes for my daily use, and make sure I put the arches in whenever I run. These arches give relief to that area. 
2. As for the immediate problem now,he gave me this gel to rub on that area and also he told me to ice my foot to reduce the swelling. He told me to take it easy on the running for a few days and rest my feet. He said I can still run if I really wanted to (but I shouldn't), but I absolutely have to wear my arches. He kept stressing that they are incredibly important. 
3. I would need to go for some Physio therapy as well to strengthen my ankle etc. 

So yeah, these are the 3 things I have to do. The best thing tho, when I asked him if I would have to give up running for good, he said I don't have to!!! YAY!!!

He said I just gotta take it a little bit more easier and to not push myself too much and to wear arches.  

I am so relieved. :) I still have to take it easy the next few days, which kinda bums me out cause I got the jog for hope this Sunday which I am quite excited for. I will do that slowly, with my arches!

I was so scared in going to the doctor in fear of finding out that it is something extreme and I would have to give up running, but I am happy now that I know what it is and it is treatable.

Down Week.

So this week so far has sort of been a down week. Actually a super down week, and all I feel is frustration!

Why? Well because of my ankle. Its been acting up quite badly ever since last week. I don't know why and I am kind of scared. My doctor's appointment was supposed to be on Monday, but I had to reschedule to this Friday because I couldn't walk over there due to rain.

The picture above shows where I feel the pain. The pain is there when I walk, and also when I run. It feels like a sharp stabbing pain, which kinda scares me. I fear going to the doctor because I fear what he will tell me, but I know I gotta do it at some point.

Maybe I have been pushing myself a bit too much. But I want the results and I am getting the results!

I only walked on Monday and Tuesday this week. Yesterday I decided to give my ankle a rest and swim, same goes for today as well.

But somehow I feel so unsatisfied with swimming. There is no sweat and I don't burn as much calories as I do when I do the walk with running intervals.

On the plus side, I have been losing about 1kg a week consistently. This regime seems to be working for me, which is why I hope I wont have to stop it for a while because of my stupid ankle. Argh!!!!!! Frustration!!!!!!

Frustration!

Today was another down day. My body just seems to not want me to run. I started off fine, hyped because I rested my feet yesterday an I wanted to run today, but the minute I started running today the shin pains kicked in followed by my stupid ankle pains. I haven't had this ankle pain in a long time, but today was the day it decided it wanted to return!

It could be because I have been slacking on my ankle strengthening exercises. I have to remind myself to keep doing it, along with the exercises to prevent shin splints. These are a must do! I need to strengthen my feet! I feel so frustrated with all these leg pains! All I want to do is run!

Today I did not hit my 5km under one hour lap time once again, so I did 6.4km. I did however do a personal best on the 6km marker at 1hr 14mins. Slightly better than Tuesdays work out. But I still feel quite disappointed in myself and extremely frustrated with my ankle. I just could not run. Argh!!! And now after the work out, it decides to be a complete bitch. 

I know, I know, these things take time. You can't push yourself to the extreme to a point where you ignore signs of pain and keep going (which I was wrongly doing today). It's your body's way of telling you to ease up. 

The doctor appointment that was supposed to be yesterday did not happen. Some complications and it had to be moved. I am thinking of just taking things into my own hands and not relying on my mother to get me an appointment. I need to know what I can do about this ankle. I don't want to have to give up what I am doing. 

Anyway, hopefully I will do better tomorrow. I shall do my feet exercises today. I'm glad however that I did the workout and I did the 6km. I find the below quote very motivating :

My ankle is being scary painful. I need to see a doctor.