Not Giving Up! Not Backing Down!

Yesterday, I went for one of my first participation's in a longer distance run. 6.4km Be a Runner Be A Giver. (Previously, the Jog for Hope was 3km)

And since I am purely honest in this blog, I would say I was quite disappointed and upset in myself, and I felt the worst I have ever felt after a run. I felt a kind of down, I haven't felt in a long time that I went home and cried.

Trying to push myself made the sharp pain in my foot come back, and it came back full blast, the pain was excruciating. And being yelled at to run and not walk when you have an excruciating pain in your foot, not the best experience.  Further more, taking part in it made me realize I am so far behind, and I've got such a long way to go. My friends are way up there, and I felt I will never be able to get there. It probably got to me more because I was doing it alone. It upset me quite a bit, and I felt extremely demotivated yesterday, and wanted to give up on participating in these events, till I am actually ready. I wanted to scratch the 7km PJ Marathon and the 5km Putrajaya Night Run.Because yesterday, I just felt like I really can't do it. Emotional and mental pain.

BUT, after I spoke to a few friends and I did some proper thinking, and watched the Shay Carl video again. I changed my mind and I have decided to not give up.

If I think I can't I never will be able to. The power of the mind.

So,I changed my perception and decided to suck it up. Yesterday I did 6.4km, even though it be slow, the fact is , I did it. I got up in the morning and did it. I lapped everyone who was in bed that morning. It IS something.

And I should be happy that I have actually gotten that far. I  have to remind myself, Small Steps. I mean, that is the title of my blog.

There is no fast road to achieving my ultimate goal. I just have to suck it up and keep going.

So I am doing the PJ and the Putrajaya, even though I suck! I will do it, I will keep going, to the extent my foot allows me to.

I should be happy and proud that I got up and did it, because I can. When I first started this, doing 4kms. I thought that was my limit. Now,my daily workouts are 6.5kms. Slow progress, but its progress non the less.

So, I had a bad day. It has to not stop me. It should never stop you. Yes, I had some irrational thinking. But now with my head clearer, I will not let it pull me down.

I will have one big challenge to overcome, which is the pain in my foot, but I will do something about it, and it should not stop me. And I will keep going.

Some pictures from yesterday. My favourite colour as well.

Thank you Wils, for making me do this. And Thank you Hanna for telling me to not let it discourage me. And thank you Hariz and Sam for making me feel better. :)

Small distance it is. But , I did it. And I will keep on trying. 

P.S, as of today, I've lost 13 KG! =)

Down Week.

So this week so far has sort of been a down week. Actually a super down week, and all I feel is frustration!

Why? Well because of my ankle. Its been acting up quite badly ever since last week. I don't know why and I am kind of scared. My doctor's appointment was supposed to be on Monday, but I had to reschedule to this Friday because I couldn't walk over there due to rain.

The picture above shows where I feel the pain. The pain is there when I walk, and also when I run. It feels like a sharp stabbing pain, which kinda scares me. I fear going to the doctor because I fear what he will tell me, but I know I gotta do it at some point.

Maybe I have been pushing myself a bit too much. But I want the results and I am getting the results!

I only walked on Monday and Tuesday this week. Yesterday I decided to give my ankle a rest and swim, same goes for today as well.

But somehow I feel so unsatisfied with swimming. There is no sweat and I don't burn as much calories as I do when I do the walk with running intervals.

On the plus side, I have been losing about 1kg a week consistently. This regime seems to be working for me, which is why I hope I wont have to stop it for a while because of my stupid ankle. Argh!!!!!! Frustration!!!!!!