Not Giving Up! Not Backing Down!

Yesterday, I went for one of my first participation's in a longer distance run. 6.4km Be a Runner Be A Giver. (Previously, the Jog for Hope was 3km)

And since I am purely honest in this blog, I would say I was quite disappointed and upset in myself, and I felt the worst I have ever felt after a run. I felt a kind of down, I haven't felt in a long time that I went home and cried.

Trying to push myself made the sharp pain in my foot come back, and it came back full blast, the pain was excruciating. And being yelled at to run and not walk when you have an excruciating pain in your foot, not the best experience.  Further more, taking part in it made me realize I am so far behind, and I've got such a long way to go. My friends are way up there, and I felt I will never be able to get there. It probably got to me more because I was doing it alone. It upset me quite a bit, and I felt extremely demotivated yesterday, and wanted to give up on participating in these events, till I am actually ready. I wanted to scratch the 7km PJ Marathon and the 5km Putrajaya Night Run.Because yesterday, I just felt like I really can't do it. Emotional and mental pain.

BUT, after I spoke to a few friends and I did some proper thinking, and watched the Shay Carl video again. I changed my mind and I have decided to not give up.

If I think I can't I never will be able to. The power of the mind.

So,I changed my perception and decided to suck it up. Yesterday I did 6.4km, even though it be slow, the fact is , I did it. I got up in the morning and did it. I lapped everyone who was in bed that morning. It IS something.

And I should be happy that I have actually gotten that far. I  have to remind myself, Small Steps. I mean, that is the title of my blog.

There is no fast road to achieving my ultimate goal. I just have to suck it up and keep going.

So I am doing the PJ and the Putrajaya, even though I suck! I will do it, I will keep going, to the extent my foot allows me to.

I should be happy and proud that I got up and did it, because I can. When I first started this, doing 4kms. I thought that was my limit. Now,my daily workouts are 6.5kms. Slow progress, but its progress non the less.

So, I had a bad day. It has to not stop me. It should never stop you. Yes, I had some irrational thinking. But now with my head clearer, I will not let it pull me down.

I will have one big challenge to overcome, which is the pain in my foot, but I will do something about it, and it should not stop me. And I will keep going.

Some pictures from yesterday. My favourite colour as well.

Thank you Wils, for making me do this. And Thank you Hanna for telling me to not let it discourage me. And thank you Hariz and Sam for making me feel better. :)

Small distance it is. But , I did it. And I will keep on trying. 

P.S, as of today, I've lost 13 KG! =)

Frustration!

Today was another down day. My body just seems to not want me to run. I started off fine, hyped because I rested my feet yesterday an I wanted to run today, but the minute I started running today the shin pains kicked in followed by my stupid ankle pains. I haven't had this ankle pain in a long time, but today was the day it decided it wanted to return!

It could be because I have been slacking on my ankle strengthening exercises. I have to remind myself to keep doing it, along with the exercises to prevent shin splints. These are a must do! I need to strengthen my feet! I feel so frustrated with all these leg pains! All I want to do is run!

Today I did not hit my 5km under one hour lap time once again, so I did 6.4km. I did however do a personal best on the 6km marker at 1hr 14mins. Slightly better than Tuesdays work out. But I still feel quite disappointed in myself and extremely frustrated with my ankle. I just could not run. Argh!!! And now after the work out, it decides to be a complete bitch. 

I know, I know, these things take time. You can't push yourself to the extreme to a point where you ignore signs of pain and keep going (which I was wrongly doing today). It's your body's way of telling you to ease up. 

The doctor appointment that was supposed to be yesterday did not happen. Some complications and it had to be moved. I am thinking of just taking things into my own hands and not relying on my mother to get me an appointment. I need to know what I can do about this ankle. I don't want to have to give up what I am doing. 

Anyway, hopefully I will do better tomorrow. I shall do my feet exercises today. I'm glad however that I did the workout and I did the 6km. I find the below quote very motivating :

My ankle is being scary painful. I need to see a doctor.